Strangely, that same advice works for relationships and dating too.

During my 13 years as a high school softball coach I was faced with making decisions regarding who played, who got in and who sat. It wasn't always easy to make the decision, but often the decision was based not just on a players ability or work ethic, but safety. Their own safety and the safety of others on the field. I remember the day I had a parent in my face because I did not put his daughter in the game–she wanted to play first base. The problem– if I stood and threw ten balls to her, she would drop nine. I tried to calmly and politely explain that she just was not a first baseman and she was going to get hurt. The truth was, the parents wanted her to play softball. She wanted to be in the marching band. What's wrong with the marching band? That was where her passion and talent was.

As a coach, it is difficult when you have a team that is constantly losing and you care more about the game, not necessarily winning, but playing your best and those players do not. It seems that mentality is very difficult to overcome. We are faced with this with many of our varsity teams. When a team loses on a regular basis, the players begin to beleive that they can't win, and it is a very difficult pattern to break.

I have spent the past four years coaching high school golf.

Great point ! I was always skeptical of coaches who said they are not concerned about winning. They are usually just use to losing. Winning at all costs– NO! But, preparing your team to win, YES! Big difference. There is also a scoreboard for a reason.

If you prepare your team to win by focusing on the things they can control, (weight back on swing,routine at foul line etc, and keep in mind what you can control, doing them at the best of your ability at all time, guess what? Winning will happen, blaming will be reduced, and hopefully kids will learn some life lessons between the lines.

Now, if we could only get the parents to take a lesson in this………I think world peace will come sooner!

I'm lucky that my boys are getting good grades at this point. I'm also not foolish enough to think that what they're doing today will guarantee their scholastic success in the future. As with anything, the work effort must be consistent.

Thanks for posting a comment on my blog. If you feel that your boys have worked as hard as they can and still can’t catch the attention of the coaches, I feel for your situation.

If you truly think that your boys are playing better than the boys they compete (attend school) with then I’d have to say you’re in a bad situation. You have three choices: the boys can work even harder, they can quit the sport they’re playing, or they can switch schools.

Be cautious before they switch schools because they better be good or you’ll go to all that trouble and then the boys still might not play that often.

Good luck and don’t forget that we have a common friend who can help your boys to reach another level.